What would you do if I sang out of tune…

….would you stand up and walk out on me?  The beatles sung over the speakers in the coffee shop.  This time I ordered a cup of tea, the latte went down so quickly and it had already been 20 minutes and I was beginning to wonder if Paul was playing a prank on me.


The door swung open and he made a dramatic entrance and was panting like he’d been running.

“When did you get back?” I asked after he’d ordered his coffee and sat opposite me.

“Sunday, Sunday night we both came back.” He smiles thinly, he obviously was embarrassed about it by the way he smiled.

“Is she ok? Why did you break up anyway, I thought you guys were happy?”

“It just wasn’t what either of us wanted.” Paul mumbled and then mumbled something like love conquers all and coughed the word bollocks.

“So anyway, what’s the latest? And why didn’t you go to your wedding fitting?”

When I first met Paul I was jealous of his friendship with Lizzie, I hated the fact that they finished off each other sentences and when it was the 3 of us I always felt the odd one out so when Lizzie met Dom it made it so much easier.

None of us expected them to last this long, but I was secretly relieved as I didn’t feel like a spare part and Paul and I had become such close friends that we once decided that if we were both single by the time we were 40 we would get married and have kids. He’s so untidy though and told him we would have to have separate houses.


“Anyway what is fundamentally wrong with me? Why won’t I be married by the time I’m 40?” I grinned quoting from the tv show friends all the time and it used to annoy him but time and time again I explained that if he watched the show he would understand.


“Ha ha, that is one episode I have watched!” He’d said.

“Finally!” I had laughed.

“You’ve been through a fair bit then, you Dad having prostate cancer; which by the way that’s what Sam had and his was removed successfully, and your chief bridesmaid being pregnant and don’t worry I won’t say a word!” He crosses his fingers trying not to smile like it’s a secret code and I shake my head in disbelief.

“Seriously Paul, it’s like you’re taking the piss.”

“Sorry, it’s just the way you are now she’s pregnant like it’s the end of the world!”

“But she won’t be coming in my hen party!”

“I’m sure she will El, don’t be such a drama queen she just won’t be able to drink!”

“Anyway at least you’ve got her there, I can’t exactly go on the stag do because you’re my friend, I don’t know Gabe that well and he wouldn’t want me there.” He looked into his coffee.

“Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a wig and come to my hen do, my friends will thinks it’s hilarious!”

“They’ll think I’m a transvestite!”  He says rather loudly.


“Don’t be stupid, you’re coming and that’s final!” He smiled so I think he was relieved to be invited, now I had to try and find a wig for him.