Maternity (and paternity) leave.

The sleeping pattern of a baby I thought was erratic but for the first couple of nights William sleeps from midnight to 6 without a feed and my husband and I silently poke him to check that all is ok.  He’s fine, of course he’s fine but he’s testing us, making us feel comfortable before the sleepless nights begin…..

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Baby boy thoughts…

 

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“It’s three AM, they’re all asleep, and no-one’s here to see.

As we rock slowly back and fourth, my baby boy and me.

 

His little hand is feather light, tucked up against my chin.

I hold his tiny hand in mine, and stroke his baby skin.

 

The house about us creaks and groans, the clock hands creep around.

He snuggles closer to me still, and makes his baby sounds.

 

I love these quiet hours to much, and cherish every one.

Store memories up inside my heart, for lonely nights to come.

 

All too soon he’ll be all grown up, his need for mummy gone.

But until then I still have time, for kisses and for song.

 

Time for quiet hours like this, with him cuddled in my arms.

Where I wish he’d always stay, protected, safe and warm.

 

And yet I know the day will come, when his tiny little hand,

Will be bigger than my own, he’ll have grown to be a man.”

 

 

Poem found on Facebook, unsure of the author so if you know who it is please let me know so that I can give them credit where due!

At home

I struggle to sleep at night wondering what William is doing, how he is feeling and if he’s happy.  I can hear everyone saying I’m sure he’s fine, but that’s no enough for me, that’s why I’ve been phoning the Unit every morning even though I’m in there every day.  The nurses must think I’m a drama queen either that or hormonal, yes I’m definitely hormonal.  Every little thing is making me cry, whether it be DIY SOS or when I put the spoon in the bin (yes I did actually do that).

I’m waking every night in the middle of the night and going down stairs and drinking umpteen cups of tea, I’m just like my mum, she does that when she can’t sleep tea settles her which is ironic because caffeine is supposed to make you more alert.

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Week 7 – Week 22

On 10th April 2016 we took a pregnancy test first thing in the morning (as instructed by the clinic) and it came out positive!  I was trying so hard not to get too excited but I couldn’t help it, I sat on the edge of the bed trying to calm myself down.  This was it, this was the start of it and I would sit down for the whole nine months if that’s what it took. I phoned the clinic that day and booked a scan.  We had to wait 18 days till we went in and in those 18 days I didn’t do any stretching or lifting, I quietly told my boss at work and she was thrilled for me and put me on sitting down jobs until I was ready to tell everyone (telling everyone in the meantime that I had back problems).

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Miscarriages & IVF

I have been wondering whether or not to do this for a long time, some of my friends and family cannot believe I’ve not done it yet so a few nights ago I asked my husbands permission; if I could open my heart (yes I can hear you singing Madonna now) and let it out (NOT let it go do not sing THAT song!).

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